If you haven't noticed by now (or if you aren't really following, which is totally ok), but I have been making a sentence by stringing together the titles of each entry. Right now it says "In the beginning, did you know, we are warriors fighting spiritual battles and sometimes we get tired but it's always worth the fight". (I know it's not really grammatically correct, but...) All this to show how connected things can be in our lives and how there is a bigger picture we just don't always see.
The past couple of days have been stressful for me and I have had my bouts of crying and eating chocolate. But I am learning...slowly, but at least it's forward progress. I liken it to working out. It will be uncomfortable in the moment, but it will all be worthwhile in the end. And when you're working out, you don't want someone standing beside you lifting the weights while you just go through the motions. You know it would be a totally worthless exercise. So the point is to keep at it and persevere if you want to have that beach body. And God promised never to give us more than we could bear. God knows that you are stronger than you think you are. And it's always so nice when you get to a point when you really don't think you can go any further, He will bless you.
I was at that point yesterday. I was so discouraged about getting a summer job with more hours and finances and I was just totally frustrated. I had resigned myself to being miserable when today, my unfixable computer was declared fixable in the next 24 hours. My $22 ticket for being at a meter for 15 minutes more than I'd paid for was rescinded. I found a dress for the weddings I have to attend and it was on sale twice to be less than half price. And I got more hours at my part time job. I don't believe this is God 'apologizing' or 'making up for' the past couple of days. I think it was more of a "congratulations! you're doing well! keep up the hard work! I see what you're going through and I'm proud of you for trying as best you can". I call it my "chicken and the egg". Do I trust God to look after me before He does or do I wait for a sign before I trust. The Bible says that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). So as hard as it was to work through those things, I hold on to faith and believe that God will stick to his promises and ultimately come through on them.
I know it sometimes feels like you're one of those dogs with a bone tied to a stick that's always just out of your reach. You feel like you'll never get there or never be good enough. I don't think that's the point. I think the only important thing is the effort, not the achievement. Be proud of a hard days work. As a Christian, I am guaranteed a place in heaven when I die. So I will ultimately reach the final goal. People say it's not the destination that counts but the journey. I would totally agree. So struggle through the low points in the journey but don't forget the high points because they will and do happen. And always remember, the destination is assured.
Wednesday 22 June 2011
Thursday 9 June 2011
And sometimes we get tired...
I know it's been a while since I posted anything. A testament to life...it's always there and it always seems to be trying to sprint past you. Lately I've been struggling with stuff. Looking for a summer job has been a big one, especially for a university student who has tuition to pay soon. I have no idea how many resumes I've sent out, but I know it's quite a few. And I have Christian references and volunteer work and extracurricular activities on my resume. I started looking in February and still don't have anything. I was told that it may be all that "Christian stuff" which made companies avoid me.
I struggled a lot as to whether I should lessen the amount of Christian content in order to get a job. I felt like I was somehow disowning God if I did that. Or I'd be lying by omission. I just couldn't feel right about making those changes. I thought that if no job was my persecution for Christ, it could be worse. I should be thankful that I have it so good. Then I started worrying about whether I was just being a snobby Christian who was "holier than thou" or being self-righteous about my resume. Was I too proud?
Talking to some other people who had had the same issue with Christian stuff on their resumes, they suggested that I rewrite it in a way that didn't emphasize the Christianity but more the skills I learned. So now I have two resumes. One that has been de-Christianized and then my normal one. I am still uneasy about having made those changes. I am trying to rely on God to give me a job and if I get one, it will be entirely his doing. I've tried for 4 months to get a job on my own and it hasn't worked. I am trying to give it to God and see where he wants me to be.
I have been writing this post over the last hour whilst doing other things and just checking my e-mail now, I have a job! And it came from one of the resumes I had sent out that has the "Christian stuff" on it. So to anyone wondering if it is worth holding out and trusting God no matter what, I say, "Proverbs 3:5-6". I was trusting God but not with all my heart and I wasn't acknowledging him in ALL my ways. Change of a heart attitude can do wonders. So keep the faith, no matter who tells you otherwise or discourages you. God is the only one that matters. Do I regret making the changes to my resume? No, but neither am I proud of them. I let myself get discouraged and losing trust. However, God promised not to give you more than you can handle. I got to a point where I was giving up and God came to lift me up again.
In Bible study at my church, one of the big things we discuss is how much of God and how much of me. To that I say, give it your all. We are such small creatures in the grand scheme of things that our all doesn't amount to much and therefore God is the one who really does it all. Like a 0.00001% to a 99.9999999%. We have the honour of participating, but really, I have no doubt God to do it without us. So yeah, we get tired and sometimes those close to us are no help at all and actually discourage us. Cling to God at all times and have patience. Check your attitude and be fully reliant on God. Having the faith of a child will get you called naive but God says the kingdom of Heaven belongs to the little children. Take heart and keep the faith.
I struggled a lot as to whether I should lessen the amount of Christian content in order to get a job. I felt like I was somehow disowning God if I did that. Or I'd be lying by omission. I just couldn't feel right about making those changes. I thought that if no job was my persecution for Christ, it could be worse. I should be thankful that I have it so good. Then I started worrying about whether I was just being a snobby Christian who was "holier than thou" or being self-righteous about my resume. Was I too proud?
Talking to some other people who had had the same issue with Christian stuff on their resumes, they suggested that I rewrite it in a way that didn't emphasize the Christianity but more the skills I learned. So now I have two resumes. One that has been de-Christianized and then my normal one. I am still uneasy about having made those changes. I am trying to rely on God to give me a job and if I get one, it will be entirely his doing. I've tried for 4 months to get a job on my own and it hasn't worked. I am trying to give it to God and see where he wants me to be.
I have been writing this post over the last hour whilst doing other things and just checking my e-mail now, I have a job! And it came from one of the resumes I had sent out that has the "Christian stuff" on it. So to anyone wondering if it is worth holding out and trusting God no matter what, I say, "Proverbs 3:5-6". I was trusting God but not with all my heart and I wasn't acknowledging him in ALL my ways. Change of a heart attitude can do wonders. So keep the faith, no matter who tells you otherwise or discourages you. God is the only one that matters. Do I regret making the changes to my resume? No, but neither am I proud of them. I let myself get discouraged and losing trust. However, God promised not to give you more than you can handle. I got to a point where I was giving up and God came to lift me up again.
In Bible study at my church, one of the big things we discuss is how much of God and how much of me. To that I say, give it your all. We are such small creatures in the grand scheme of things that our all doesn't amount to much and therefore God is the one who really does it all. Like a 0.00001% to a 99.9999999%. We have the honour of participating, but really, I have no doubt God to do it without us. So yeah, we get tired and sometimes those close to us are no help at all and actually discourage us. Cling to God at all times and have patience. Check your attitude and be fully reliant on God. Having the faith of a child will get you called naive but God says the kingdom of Heaven belongs to the little children. Take heart and keep the faith.
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