If you haven't noticed by now (or if you aren't really following, which is totally ok), but I have been making a sentence by stringing together the titles of each entry. Right now it says "In the beginning, did you know, we are warriors fighting spiritual battles and sometimes we get tired but it's always worth the fight". (I know it's not really grammatically correct, but...) All this to show how connected things can be in our lives and how there is a bigger picture we just don't always see.
The past couple of days have been stressful for me and I have had my bouts of crying and eating chocolate. But I am learning...slowly, but at least it's forward progress. I liken it to working out. It will be uncomfortable in the moment, but it will all be worthwhile in the end. And when you're working out, you don't want someone standing beside you lifting the weights while you just go through the motions. You know it would be a totally worthless exercise. So the point is to keep at it and persevere if you want to have that beach body. And God promised never to give us more than we could bear. God knows that you are stronger than you think you are. And it's always so nice when you get to a point when you really don't think you can go any further, He will bless you.
I was at that point yesterday. I was so discouraged about getting a summer job with more hours and finances and I was just totally frustrated. I had resigned myself to being miserable when today, my unfixable computer was declared fixable in the next 24 hours. My $22 ticket for being at a meter for 15 minutes more than I'd paid for was rescinded. I found a dress for the weddings I have to attend and it was on sale twice to be less than half price. And I got more hours at my part time job. I don't believe this is God 'apologizing' or 'making up for' the past couple of days. I think it was more of a "congratulations! you're doing well! keep up the hard work! I see what you're going through and I'm proud of you for trying as best you can". I call it my "chicken and the egg". Do I trust God to look after me before He does or do I wait for a sign before I trust. The Bible says that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). So as hard as it was to work through those things, I hold on to faith and believe that God will stick to his promises and ultimately come through on them.
I know it sometimes feels like you're one of those dogs with a bone tied to a stick that's always just out of your reach. You feel like you'll never get there or never be good enough. I don't think that's the point. I think the only important thing is the effort, not the achievement. Be proud of a hard days work. As a Christian, I am guaranteed a place in heaven when I die. So I will ultimately reach the final goal. People say it's not the destination that counts but the journey. I would totally agree. So struggle through the low points in the journey but don't forget the high points because they will and do happen. And always remember, the destination is assured.